Psychologists say that many people will talk about anything, even sex, before they'll talk about their finances. Why is it so difficult for us to talk about money? Perhaps because money symbolizes different things to different people: power, control, security, or love, for instance.It's been estimated that money issues are the driving force in 90% of divorces, but you CAN live happily ever after, financially speaking, if you work at not letting financial issues come between you and your partner.
In her book "Talking Money," Jean Chatzky, columnist for Money magazine and regular contributor to the Today show, offers practical advice for talking to your spouse or life partner about this emotionally charged issue, including these tips for twosomes:
Find a Neutral Time
Don't wait until your spouse has charged up a storm on the credit card or another hot financial issue arises to broach the subject. The goal is to have a calm, relaxed discussion when there's no particular money issue at hand.
Don't wait until your spouse has charged up a storm on the credit card or another hot financial issue arises to broach the subject. The goal is to have a calm, relaxed discussion when there's no particular money issue at hand.
Give a Little to Get a Little
Volunteer your own feelings about a financial issue and it may encourage your partner to do the same. If your relationship is the first priority, you'll both have to be willing to negotiate. Share your feelings, experiences, and hopes about money. Discuss how your parents dealt with money, what it meant to you when you were growing up, and how you dealt with it in past relationships.
Volunteer your own feelings about a financial issue and it may encourage your partner to do the same. If your relationship is the first priority, you'll both have to be willing to negotiate. Share your feelings, experiences, and hopes about money. Discuss how your parents dealt with money, what it meant to you when you were growing up, and how you dealt with it in past relationships.
Know Where You Stand
Be honest with yourself about how you feel. If you've always been independent, for example, it may be hard for you to be "taken care of" financially. If you have more assets than your partner, you may feel fear about risking your hard-earned money, or resentment if his or her spending habits are not good. You have to be honest with yourself about these feelings in order to be honest with your partner.
Be honest with yourself about how you feel. If you've always been independent, for example, it may be hard for you to be "taken care of" financially. If you have more assets than your partner, you may feel fear about risking your hard-earned money, or resentment if his or her spending habits are not good. You have to be honest with yourself about these feelings in order to be honest with your partner.
Bring in a Third Party
If you can't seem to talk about finances, seek out a counselor to help you sort through your financial issues. This could be a financial counselor or a therapist or marriage counselor.
If you can't seem to talk about finances, seek out a counselor to help you sort through your financial issues. This could be a financial counselor or a therapist or marriage counselor.
Source :~About.com
p/s Financial uncertainty and hardship is facing many married couples. Whether or not a marriage can survive money problems depends on their communication skills and ability to face reality. .At least once each year, couples should sit down and discuss their finances in depth..Pick a neutral time and location..This will help you both know the best way to handle a financial crisis. Money can be a tool that can strengthen your marriage or it can become a wedge between the two of you..
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